Monday, November 06, 2006

emo?

I haven't gone emo, no worries...besides, I can't even define it properly. One thing I do know is that I'm VERY emotional. It might just be sneaking up to 'that time', but I can't stop crying. It probably began last Thursday or Friday, and it hasn't really stopped. I'll be listening to a song, watching the news, reading an e-mail, watching kids play in a park, waiting for the bus, reading the Bible, lying in bed, walking through the halls of school...you name it, if I can do it-something in that situation will probably cause me to cry. I can't explain it. Some say "well you're a girl", other friends have said it probably has something to do with how hard I'm working, I don't know the reason. But guess what? I don't have a problem with it, I'm actually happy I can cry. More than half of the time I can just feel something tug at my heart strings and I don't even shed a tear, but the fact that I CAN feel those emotions actually brings me joy. Weird? Maybe. I don't care though. Some (I'm thinking in particular of some family members here) might tell me to shut up and stop being so emotional...but I'm happy with it.

What else? I like who I am. I have goals and I'm working really hard to get to them and I'm excited about whats happening in my life. I figured out my average and I think I'm sitting at a 96%, that's not including Communications (because her marking is so wacky, I can't keep track of what I'm getting marks for and what I'm not). The fact that I'm not including Communications might also account for why my average is so high, because if there's one course that's going to bring down my mark, it'll be that one. I'll be happy if I have an average above 90. (sound like too high of a goal? not for me) But the point is, I'm working really hard towards a goal and I'm REALLY excited about it.

I have a beautiful apartment (even with the uneven floor and poor heating...). I'm just sitting here and I'm so joyful.

For a little while last week I let myself get into a slump and was depressed about something so silly, that now I can only shake my head and chuckle at myself. I'm SO blessed. Did I tell you that my AMAZING parents are able to help me pay for school?? They're paying my second semester tuition! I'm SO happy, and relieved. Oh, and did I say blessed??? :)

Life is good.
niki.

2 comments:

  1. I think it's great that you're able to just let loose with your emotions... I think it shows real growth. I cry during the news too, so don't feel too bad about it (but I'm a sap in that way). Plus sometimes, people just need to cry. But I would agree that it probably also has something to do with having too much "on your plate", (or proverbial soup bowl, if you prefer)

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  2. I agree with my wife (as usually I am wont to do). Someone once said, "if the eyes are the windows to the soul, it helps to wash them once in a while to let more light in." I can't remember who it was, maybe it was me, I hope so.
    The best expression of Emo I've heard has been from this man...
    http://www.emophilips.com/home

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