Much of 2011 has been that way - I've gone through the motions of life: work, church, family obligations, social events, and yet I have felt so empty. It is something I have struggled with all year and have not known how to put it into words, so I've kept silent. I've tried a few times to open up to different friends about different areas of my life, but it was easier to just rehash the same things over again, instead of really facing the issues I was dealing with at the time.
I've been encouraged by my friend Evan's posts and our emails back and forth, it's been refreshing and came at a time that I needed it. Also, more than anything else his desire to grow deeper with God has been a challenge to me. So last night I was reading my devotions (Women's Devotional Bible had me in Ezra), and I realized "I don't know the story of Ezra". My friends named their son Ezra and there's a book about him and my devotion had a short passage from that book ... so after finishing devos I flipped back to the beginning and started reading, and reading and reading. I would've finished the short 10 chapter book, but it was the middle of the night (my sleep schedule is completely out of sync) and so I will finish that today.
I'm thankful for encouragement - from many friends, although I've only named one, I should make clear that so many friends have been an encouragement, especially this last year. Thank you to Mami, Lauren, Danielle, Laurie, Nancy, Helen, Carina, Miriam, Rebekah, Arlene, Dawn, Laura, Sarah, Sandra, Julie, Will, Amanda, Renee, Bethany, Brianna, Ruth, Kristine, Sharky, Cindy, Shirley, Tanya, Natasha, Matt, Nat, Wendy, Evan, Allie, Chris, Andre, Kim, Tim, Maeghan, Robin, Mandee, all my adopted parents ... the list could go on forever I think.
So many of you have been an inspiration in my walk with God and have carried me through some of the hardest days of my life. Thank you all for leading by example in your own personal relationships with God and while I don't 'do' resolutions, I do commit to grow deeper with God in the year ahead.