Friday, January 01, 2010

kijiji ads

What to do when you're off work and everything's closed? Go on kijiji and find ridiculous ads, of course!

"To the guy who broke into my car last night,

Sorry we missed each other, but I was really tired and sleeping. And you were busy breaking the door handle on my car. At least you were thoughtful enough not to smash my window. I hope the cup-holder full of pennies was worth it. I guess you needed it more than I did.

You did get my bluetooth headset, but you forgot the charger so have fun with it for the 3-4 hours the battery will last.

And the sweater you took from the back seat ... well if I were you. I'd wash it first ... or burn it ... whatever floats your boat.

Merry Christmas!!



"It was the CD release for Pete Vandyk on Dec. 14 at the Casbah in Hamilton. You and a friend arrived late and sat beside Pete's parents. You were the one with beads in her hair. Someone bumped my table and I grabbed my drink. Our eyes met for a brief moment but those eyes have captivated my very soul. Just would like to know your name and see a picture of you. Too bad I am older than you however I'd sure like to write a song about you and include who you are in my new music recording project."



the car accident:

"It was between 7-8pm and the Gardner was busy as always with rush hour traffic. All of a sudden the guy in front of me stopped and then all I heard was a bang. I looked in my rear view mirror and seen you sitting in your car. I pulled over to the shoulder of the road, and turned off my car. I then got out to assess the damage. Right away I noticed that there was just a small mark and a couple dents from where your blue volkswagon hit my bumper. When you got out of your car you looked so scared, however all I notice was how gorgeous you were. When you spoke, all you could say was how sorry you were and how you wanted to ensure that my car was repaired. All I could say was that it was no big deal, that it was nothing but a small dent but I was really just captivated by your voice. When you offered to give me your mouth said no but the rest of me was thinking yes. When I got into my car, the instant I pulled away I realized my mistake of not getting the number of a gorgeous woman. If this was you, dont hesitate to email me, I would love to get to know you better!"


"Im going to try again... I was at West town Saturday night December 5/09, I guess your not interested? you didn't say anything to me, not even hi :( You are that beautiful brunet know who I am :)

Hope this works and you are interested in talking :)

Hope to hear from you :)"

(persistent much?)


"Had a wild experience in the grocery store today, One remarkable brunette stood out amongst all the seniors (oh yes there are lots of those on Mondays) and almost made me drop my oranges!

If you're looking for a good store to shop at guys (good fresh food) and often some really nice looking girls, I suggest you give this place a try. located on New street in Burlington


maybe one of us will be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of her in the store next time we shop."

Okay, so here's my take on this:

1) people, your grammar skills are non-existent.
2) do you really think someone will be checking these? (note, I did it purely for the humour factor)
3) maybe the grocery store IS the place to meet someone!
4) Thanks for the laughs people!

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