Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Post Four Hundred and Twenty

It's been a couple weeks since I've posted and it's because I'm (no surprise here), overwhelmed and emotional.

I've had so many great ideas for posts, but when I sit down to type my mind goes completely blank.

Charles' mom just left a message on my answering machine, they (without Charles, obvi) want to take me out for dinner. I just want to crawl and hide.

Darrell is here visiting and I'm having a lot of fun–although we did so much walking yesterday and I'm pretty sore, second day in.

Maybe I'll have more to write later. I'm in a funk.

edit:  11:15 am.  

Continually I listen to the lies of satan... I spent a great day exploring Toronto with Darrell yesterday and a great evening with even more friends as we ventured down to Niagara Falls and yet I listen to satan to the lies that I'm not worthy, I'm not loved, they're only here because of pity, etc. It's so frustrating. I know better, really, I do! But yet I don't fill my mind enough with the truths of the Word, so I become discouraged.

Part of this stemmed from conversations in the car about bible school and I have so many mixed emotions about that time. I can't even express them all, but I know that there are things I need to let go-people's perceptions of me that have tainted the way I view myself, in particular one woman who saw me in a very immature state and because of that I feel my reputation was tarnished-in part because of my behaviour, but in part because of how the story was told to others. Maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion, but every time this person's name gets mentioned I feel shame and embarrassment and wish that I could go back and erase that night.

Satan sucks.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Bubble,

    I've found the best way to counter this kind of thinking is to "put Satan in a funk". hehehe... you do this by;
    everytime you start thinking about negative stuff..ie - what other people think of you or (b) I'm not worthy type stuff... Pray for somebody else! You see what happens is Satan is now in a 'bad place' cuz every time he puts something negative in your mind... it causes you to pray for somebody... Now what does he do?!? If he gives up on you and goes away... he's not doing his job... however - if he keeps bugging you... he's doing a lousy job cuz it causes prayer on behalf of someone else he's trying to screw up... you've put him between a rock and a hard place... keep doing this and it won't be long before God kicks the rock and the hard place together on him and squishes him! Hehe now he's the one runnin' 'round in a funk... but with a squished head!!

    Love Papi