Saturday, August 11, 2007


I don't even know where to start. I've finally been able to talk to my mom after not talking to her for a really long time, and I'm glad I got caught up. I'm sad to hear all the news that's going on at home and wishing that I could be there to help-and I can't. Part of me feels like I should be back in BC, helping my mom, being there for her and offering some comic relief. But mostly I love it here and feel ashamed that I don't ever want to move back. I know it's not my responsibility to move back and to help carry the burden-my mom would never want that, but I guess I just feel torn.

It's weird, I've never liked change, yet I'm not one to stay put for very long. It shouldn't be much of a mystery as to why my heart feels like it's being pulled in many different directions: family in Switzerland, family and friends in BC, college friends all over Canada, and now I feel like I finally belong here in Ontario. I feel like I belong, but I also want to experience everything that's going on elsewhere-friends are getting married and having babies, my youth girls are growing up and graduating, kids I babysat are soon to be driving cars (WHAT??), family members are getting older, and all this makes me wish that I had never once moved, so that I only knew what I had experienced, that way I could always be there. But! Then I'm so thankful for all the opportunities and amazing things I've seen...and I just get overwhelmed and my head gets foggy and so I stop thinking for a minute. I'm blessed beyond measure and I need to just live life one day at a time, loving those I come in contact with and not losing sight of those who have been a part of my life.

Now that the reflective mode is over...we went to the cottage. AWESOMENESS. Except that I only went for four days and had to come home, Charles got to stay the whole week, he'll be back any minute now. His sister, Emily, came from Alberta for a visit and so we got to spend time at the cottage together-she's awesome!! They tried to teach me to waterski, and I almost learned. Apparently I actually got up at one point (it's on video!!), but I was so tired I couldn't hold myself up any longer. It was an interesting weekend to say the least-due in part to the fact that Kyle (the ex) was there. J&L showed up on Saturday night (Sunday morning) and so we spent time with them, so much fun!!

I've finally finished reading the last Harry Potter book and have concluded that I don't like them as much as I did before. I won't post any spoilers, so in case you haven't read it-don't worry. I preferred the books when they were just the little kids going to Hogwarts, learning about magic and playing petty pranks. The books took a sinister turn in book 4, I think? And they never really captured my heart again-I don't like evil, I like lighthearted novels. I'll read something that's serious and even sad, if it's real (biographies, history, fiction based on history-Mark of the Lion series, for example), but stuff that's just evil for the sake of it-I don't like it. I've never much liked horror movies either, probably for the same reason.

My job at the college will be ending in two weeks and I have an enormous pile of work left to do. I have no clue how it's to get done, seeing as one of my bosses will not budge on my hours and allow me to work more hours in different departments to cover my work. The way I'm scheduled right now is 9-2 daily in the peer tutor centre working on the Peer Tutor & Peer Mentor programs, 2-4 Mon-Thur working in Disability services and 2-4 on Fridays in Health services. I don't have enough time to complete my work in the offices I work in the afternoon and I don't have enough work to fill my time in my morning office-but J. won't budge. Rita will be back on Monday (hallelujah!!!-she's been gone for a month), and so maybe she can help me figure something out. I'm so looking forward to having Rita back, and sharing with her how I handled all the situations-I'm quite proud of myself. For those of you who don't know, Rita basically heads up the peer tutoring program and I assist her with paperwork, but she was on holidays for a loooong time, which meant I did all the peer tutoring work myself. Normally she would be there to help me troubleshoot and find tutors, resolve issues, complete references, etc. She did as much as she could before she left (she wrote the reference letter-which is good, because I couldn't), but there was still a lot on my plate. My highlight of my experience would be when a student came and gave me chocolate (it was like being a real secretary!)

Anyways, Charles & Emily are here, so I gotta run-will update more later.

Love Niki


  1. Hey, and I wrote that I'm glad you're not here to have to deal with all the stuff. Just shows we care about each other. GM gave Ruth M. some things for you, she'll send the rest.
    I feel the same about books and movies. I don't like horror shows or books. I guess school will be starting again soon. XO!!!!!!

  2. It's funny what you said about books because I'm the complete opposite. I loved reading the Harry Potter books and I could handle the evil because I knew it was completely fake and somewhat absurd (but so real and enthralling at the same time). I however could not make it through a quarter of the first book of the Mark of the Lion series. It was too gory and realistic I couldn't handle it.

  3. lol Niki. I wouldn't come home and then not even tell you!!!

    I fly in at 6am on the 24th of Aug and home again on Sept 10.

    See you soon!!!!