Tuesday, June 28, 2011

hit me while I'm down

There have been some great things happening lately, but today I'm feeling down in the dumps. The happy blog will come later tonight or later this week. For now, bare with me, will you?

A few weeks ago I bought a BEAUTIFUL new couch. But I didn't quite measure it correctly and it doesn't fit in my apartment. And of course, it's a floor model and I got a great deal and as a result, I can't return it. It is currently sitting in my landlord's garage as I await a new window (which I'll be purchasing...nothing quite like investing in someone else's home, when you're already helping pay their mortgage...). Graciously, my mom is paying for the window (and she made a lovely deposit in my bank account while she was here).

Last week I received notice that my car insurance is going up. WAY UP. I'm not yet eligible to take my final road test and as a result, my insurance premiums are quite high. Almost as high as my rent - effective July 3. Happy day. Not.

Finally, I missed out on receiving a wage increase at my 90-day review since I was in Haiti and I was told 'we'll just combine your 90-day review with your mid-year review in June'. I got a great review and I've been told over the last few months that both my bosses were rooting for me to receive a raise, even though it is not customary to receive wage increases in the middle of the year. I thought (and so did they) that perhaps an exception would be made since I missed my 90-day review, I'm doing a completely different job than I was hired for, and I've been consistently excelling at all tasks. My review was excellent. I was told that they were going to really fight for me for a wage increase. Today I found out that I won't be eligible for a wage increase until January.

I walked out of my boss' office and into the bathroom and just cried. Even as I write this my eyes are welling up again. I know you're not supposed to count your chickens before they hatch, but I did. I was really counting on that wage increase, whatever it may have been, to help offset the cost of my extremely high car insurance rates.

My boss kept reiterating "this is in no way a reflection on you, it's the policy, please understand we did all we could". I get it, I really do. I'm just feeling discouraged. I've worked so hard and I will keep working hard, but it's a disappointing day for me.

Tonight I'm going over to Rent-A-Mom and Rent-A-Dad's ("RAM & RAD's") to talk about job opportunities. I'm looking at my options, perhaps I can find a part-time job in the evening as a receptionist in a real estate office, I can waitress, clean offices, babysit or do some sort of in-home sales consulting (Tupperware...?).

I know the truth that God will supply all my needs. I'm not going to suffer or even starve. I'm just sad. (and I don't like being sad)

And no, not having a car or car insurance is not an option. I've already thought through all those ideas ... alas, my social life may be going down the proverbial drain.

**edit** Had a good chat with RAM & RAD and got some clarity in the situation. But then, got some other less than delightful news in another area of my life. Some days you just want to hide in bed. Today would be one of those days in my books.


  1. start shopping for car insurance! don't think for a minute you should just deal with the increase if you can't afford it. If you're looking for some more money...you can join my avon team :) or look for a job where you don't have to drive your car all the time? just a few things to think on. I'm sure this will all work out in the end as He always has a plan :)

  2. I lost my comment...
    Anyway, we've been through this over the years so many times (the $ thing not the couch) and we've learned that trusting in God is the answer - and working hard. We seem to often get a few steps ahead and then go a few steps behind - how frustrating. But so many times God provides so much more than we'd ever imagined and even when times are lean, He has provided in so many ways, I'm sure you've seen that too. I guess switching insurance isn't an option since you've had an accident? Maybe talking to a broker - who could advise you? Can you drop any part of your insurance, ie. we just dropped collision on Suzanne's car because it's older and if she had an accident, we wouldn't repair it...depends on what you would do (she's still covered if she wrecks someone else's car - that's the law). Saved us a little bit anyway.

  3. Niki,

    I know how you are feeling - though not for the same reasons. But you know that. I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you daily. I hope that you remember that you are God's child. He takes care of the birds, and he loves you much more than the birds. So give the care to God, and trust in Him (which I know you are already doing), pray daily (maybe together with other believers) and everything will be taken care of. :)