Monday, November 29, 2010

a Papi update - November 29, 2010

God is so good. In the midst of everything happening, He is truly in control of every situation. I don't understand the 'whys' or hows', I just know it to be true.

Papi continues to not do well, in fact his eyesight is now being affected by his brain tumour and we learned on his 57th birthday that it is a grade 4 aggressive form and he will not recover. With treatment he is expected to live about 2 years, without, he would get sick in about a month or two and we would lose him within 6 months. This week there is an appointment at the cancer clinic for him, which Mami and Nana (his mom) will be attending. He's once again in a state of depression in which he would rather not receive treatment; we're praying that he chooses it so that we all have a chance to say a proper goodbye and that the things left unsaid, can be spoken before eternity separates us.

We ask for prayer for Mami - for her to continue to rely on God's strength, for clarity and peace of mind as she goes about her day-to-day, especially since she's still learning her new job (which started when all this began).

For Dani - my brother that lives in Switzerland, that he can come to say goodbye. Dani only met our dad 5 years ago and for him to lose him so soon after meeting him is unfair. For understanding and peace as he is the furthest away.

For Mischo and Ashton - my brother and nephew that live with my parents. I know that Ashton has been a huge source of joy for Papi and he delights in their visits. I thank God that Mischo is able to spend so much time with Papi and has been driving our mom to and from the hospital, he's been a huge help and I pray that he would be encouraged by this time they get to spend together.

For Nana and Papa - my dad's parents who are having their own difficult year, having put Papa in a nursing home and Nana getting very ill over the summer to the point we thought we would lose her. They are, naturally, not ready to lose their oldest son - my nana especially is very close to him. For them to see God's hand at work in all this.

I would just like to add this: those of us who know God are fully confident in God's plan, even if it doesn't make sense to us, but I will ask this: stop offering us empty platitudes. I know that many of you mean well when you say things like "God has a plan, even for this", and usually it doesn't bug me - but sometimes it does and all we ask for is that you be there for us, pray for us, if we're in the mood - laugh with us, or cry with us, but I beg you, please do not just offer empty words because it makes you feel better. There have been times where friends have shared verses or said things that have been a huge joy and encouragement - so don't avoid those encouragements at all costs, just PLEASE allow God to lead you.

I must confess that before I walked this road of heartache, I was the first to jump in there and throw Bible verses at the person in hopes that they hadn't lost their faith in their time of trial. I hope that you all have seen that we are leaning so much on God, more than we ever have before and I can speak for myself, my faith has only grown stronger. I want to take a moment to apologize to any friends I have offended over the years by offering, what I believed to be, words of encouragement.

This is a hard road, both for us as a family and also for those journeying with us. I don't expect you to know what to say or how to say it, or what to do - all I ask is this: lift us up in prayer and don't let us fall.

thank you.


  1. I know what you mean - and I've offered those "platitudes" myself also, however, I do think that sometimes we need to be reminded of these promises when we are at our lowest. I had a friend who gave me a card when I had just miscarried (and almost lost my own life) and I was bitter about it for a while - the card said "All things work together for good to those who love God" but then God opened my eyes to see that I needed that message, and I eventually (years later) thanked my friend for that card, even though it hurt at the time I rec'd it. I understand the emptiness of platitudes, but there are some messages that we need to hear, even though they sound trite or "responsive" when we hear them. Make sense?
    BTW when my dad died, someone said to us "well, life is for the living!" Ugh. Tact is necessary!

    OK, no more comments from me - unless there's a new post! ;)