Monday, June 09, 2008

middle of the night

I'm exhausted, but because of everything on my mind right now, I just can't sleep.

It's currently sometime after 3 am, between Sunday night and Monday morning and I'm so disoriented. ... I'm feeling emotional about a bunch of stuff and as such I can't sleep because of how much my mind is racing, not to mention I'm sore and my body refuses to adjust to BC time, stuck in limbo somewhere around Manitoba time. Soooo confused.

Why do I have so many things on my mind?? Well, there's some dissension at the church my parents go to and as much as it breaks my heart, my dad made a good point when he said that satan wins when we fight. It makes me angry that he's right, because part of me just wants to be upset at certain people, people who I have been hurt by in the past-alas, dad is right.  Also, my former boss at Kawkawa passed away on Friday and now I'll be going to a funeral on Thursday in Abbotsford to remember an amazing woman. Finally, my emotions are spent. I'm ready to be done and come home, but I also don't really want to go back to work yet-I just need some time alone, but can't afford to steal away any time, as there never is usually enough time to see everyone.

Tonight (err, last night...), Mom and I went for a walk with Chubbs & baby Ashton around the neighbourhood and she caught me up on many of the whereabouts of former classmates. You see, we (mom and I, although in the later years it was entirely mom) had the paper route(s) in this area. In grade 7 I started delivering the Times newspaper to our house and another 115 homes around our area. Then in grade 9 (?), I decided to add a paper route, and for a few months we delivered another 100 papers for the News newspaper, to the route right next to the one I already had. I gave up the second route, because I was basically asking mom to have an extra (2) job(s) on top of her full-time job, because I couldn't keep up with youth, volunteering, school and both routes-especially not on Wednesdays (youth night). We still kept the original paper route, and mom finally gave it up after I had moved away to college. We must have had that route for about 7 years. Because of that route, we got to know many people in the neighbourhood, and mom was really good at learning peoples' stories and getting to know the people on the route. Many much reminiscing as we wandered around.

Now I'm exhausted, but in so much pain I can't sleep. ugh.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, sounds like you are going through a regular roller coaster. I'm sorry that it has been so tough for you back home, but at least you are having some good times too. Also, I find it amusing that even as a teenager you were over busy. Way to stay consistent :)