Wednesday, February 07, 2007


Life is good. I'm so happy. I've decided that I'm going to let myself be happy. Tonight I was giddy and I let myself show it. Not around certain people, but I did let loose some. It felt SO good.
Many have commented that I haven't said much about Charles (Chuck, I may use either name, one guy though) ;), and I wondered why. I made the excuses that 1) everytime I get giddy, it doesn't work out or 2) what if I'm setting myself up for hurt or 3) everyone says to be careful, so I'm going to be so careful that I try not to feel anything. Well that wasn't working and I realized that the only person I was hurting was myself, because I wasn't being honest with myself.
I'm being honest. I'm dating a wonderful guy who loves God and treats me well, he cares about me and is genuinely nice!!! I'm always drawn to people who are less caring of me than they should be. I always push away the ones who care, I'm sorry about that. I know that some of the nice guys out there (Rob for instance) wish I could've learned this lesson earlier and ended up dating them instead...but I believe that you're going to be happy that I'm finding happiness and realizing it before it's too late.
All that said, I'm not doing what I've done in the past-I'm not working myself up into a tizzy (is that even a word?) and starting to daydream about a wedding or kids or anything crazy long term like that. I obviously wouldn't be dating Charles if I didn't think that this might work, but I'm not getting ahead of myself like I've been known to do.
This is good.
In other news, I skipped school today. I just really needed the sleep. I kinda regret it, but on the other hand, I'm glad I took time for myself. I do however, regret not using some of that time to do my devotions.
This is a long post compared to what I've done lately. I need to go read my e-mails and then I should get to bed. Chuck and I decided that we need to be off the phone by 10:30, because both of us are lagging behind and having a hard time getting out of bed. So it's not right that I hang up the phone to go to bed and then spend oodles of time on here. Yes, oodles.

love, niki


  1. Oh, oh, your dad started reading our blogs. Dating?? he said- skipped school??? About mine-kinda sweet?! Good thing your faaaaaaaaaar away :)

  2. Good to hear that you're happy, and that you will continue to write here. I always am checking here for a good read.

    You should always enjoy life, and do whatever it takes to be happy.

  3. Hold on a sec, do whatever it takes?
    I have some reservations about that. You should never do things you want, if you hurt others in the process, also don't do anything against your moral conviction. Lots of people seek happiness in the wrong places, a bottle, drugs, promiscuity, crimes...., sometimes you'll be better off, to sacrifice, that someone else can be happy. Actually, when you make someone else happy, you always feel happy as well. That's the purest joy, right after experiencing God.

  4. Niki it's good to hear that you are Happy! I am supper glad that you have found a really good guy, that's hard to do these days.

    love ya

  5. I'm glad you're finally starting to show your real self to people. I'm not saying I think I know your real self, but I have known for a long time that there's a you in there I haven't seen (or at least much), that you keep hidden. Keep working on getting it out there!
    As far as your choice in guys, it worked out for me at least that you pushed away the nice ones because I got one of them!

  6. Tizzy: noun, plural -zies. 1. Slang - a dither.

    I'm only here to help.

  7. Hey! Tizzy is...
    Aw, CRAPPANTS! Darrell got to it before I did.
    Ah well, to quote not-the-best-of-Robert "Bobby" McFerrin Jr.

    "Don't worry, be happy"

    I kinda like the song, but I guess it got really annoying for some people.