There have been a number of times as I've gotten older that I've looked at a situation, remembered advice that I had heard and had a lightbulb moment. You know those moments that remind you of a cartoon with a lightbulb going off above their heads when they clue into something? Yeah, those kind. I've had all sorts, about school, friends, my relationship with God, finances, lots of different things, but never about dating. Weird, I know-you'd think that dating would be one of those things that you'd want to listen to that advice and learn from it, even (usually?) after the fact. Well, I guess I thought I was an expert and so I've ignored what many people have told me (some wise, some not-so-wise people).
I'm getting to the point, promise. I had dated a couple guys in high school, and had many crushes before that and since then, but as for dating, until I dated Kyle I hadn't dated anyone since Summer 01. Maybe it's because I'm growing up, or maybe it's because I've failed (so far) at dating and I've watched many friends go through different stages in a relationship, I'm now more aware of what happens in a dating relationship. (I'd like to think anyway). Since my own break up I've seen a lot of friends (close and some just acquaintances, and everything in between) break up, make up, develop crushes, get married and start families. I'm concerned.
For all of you who expressed concern when Kyle and I started dating, I'm sorry for ignoring you. I truly am. I've been listening to some friends lately and I remember when I said some of the same things and they sound, well-stupid. I can place myself in their situation and see why they say what they say and how they're justifying situations, but as an outsider it seems really dumb. REALationships (yes, I added an 'a'), take time. You can't fastforward, even if you want to. You both need to develop as individuals first, before you can start doing things like studying God's word together. I think couples Bible studies are great-but 1) not in place of your own and 2) not right away.
I love the idea of being married to the perfect man (perfect for me, not 'perfect') and growing old together, but that's not going to happen right away. There's so much growing that both he and I (I'm assuming God's still working on him??) have yet to do, and even when we meet it's not going to be a bed of daisies. A bed of roses more like, thorns and all. I don't know if I'm getting across what I think but I guess this is what I want to say:
- I'm sorry for not listening
- Relationships DO take time
- PUT GOD FIRST
- If it's meant to be, there's no need to rush
Matt, I'm getting it-I finally am!! Thanks for being so patient, and I'm sorry for ignoring you.