time to go to bed

Yes its only 5:30 pm, but it's bedtime. Tonight I work my last EVER Friday night file maintenance shift and I'm sooooo not looking forward to it. For one, I hate the job, secondly I'm really not good at it (which is the driving force for reason number 1) and thirdly, I have to start in 4 1/2 hours and I can't fall asleep. I hate this job with a sincerity like I've never hated something before. And I don't like to hate things. So I want to keep focused that this is my last time doing it, that it'll be ok, it's almost over, yadda yadda yadda...but I don't want to become so focused on the fact that its my last shift that I become so frustrated that I still have a shift yet to do. Make sense? So if you remember, please pray for me tonight, because it's not just that I don't like the job, it's more so that I'm not very good at it and it overwhelms me and nearly every time I've done it I go into some sort of (however slight or major a degree) of panic attack. Usually I have a little trouble breathing, get nauseous, feel very overwhelmed and I think 6 times out of 7 I've cried. It's really not as "oh well, it's your last shift" as you might think. It's hard.
Anyways, in other news-and better news at that, I am having the time of my life with my scrap/cookbook! I had to go out and buy more supplies today!! Yay for the dollar store! So fun! :) So I'm looking forward to tonight being over with and at some point this weekend working on it a little more. Otherwise I'd sit down and work on it right until I went to bed tonight, if only I could.
Also this weekend, I'm having a roast and I've invited a bunch of people from church. I'm looking forward to having a lot of people over and cooking for them and having a grand ol time. I'll probably bake a cake too. MMM, cake.
Well I guess I'll just go lie down and hope that I eventually fall asleep. And get some decent shuteye before I have to be up for the bus...more than an hour anyways (like last week).
Miss you all!! And thanks for your comments, they make me smile, except yours Darrell, they make me laugh right out loud and make me miss you...when are you coming to Ontario?? PS-I have lettuce again! ;)
Love Niki