I have been in a few wedding parties and each had it's own personality if you will, to complement the varying personalities of my dear girlfriends who have married their sweethearts.
There were the super-laid-back brides, the plan-every-detail-like-Martha-Stewart brides, the DIY brides, there were young and even younger brides (only one was older than me), there were student brides and working brides, there were brides who were frugal and brides who were accustomed to the finer things in life.
As would be expected, each of their personalities came out in their weddings. In a good way - usually ;) There may have been a few heated discussions and a few things said in haste, but the friendships remain and the marriages grow stronger and my closet gets fuller.
There is one particular part of wedding planning that I just need to comment on. That part is the fundraiser for the wedding. If you're not from southern Ontario, you may not know about this phenomenon - that people actually raise money for their wedding. There are engagement parties, there are bridal showers, there are couple wedding showers, there are tool parties, there are bachelorette and bachelor parties, there are family celebrations, work celebrations, friend celebrations and church celebrations. But there's one celebration you may not be familiar with and that is the Stag and Doe, or the Buck and Doe. This event is known as a fundraiser for the engaged couple, so that they do not start their married life in debt.
However, this has often become a license to be overly extravagant and splurge on things for the item you may not (absolutely won't) need. Dresses worth thousands of dollars. Guest lists larger than a Dutch church directory. Tacky wedding favours that people throw out. And that's just 'average' people - just google 'lavish weddings' if you really want to be blown away.
Please don't take this rant as that of a jaded single 28 year old, because it's not.
I do however, take issue with the idea of spending so much on your wedding that you need a fundraiser to pay for it. I know people who drew up wedding budgets with an income line titled "Stag&Doe". Yes, they counted on it. And as the event (the Stag and Doe, not the wedding) drew nearer and not enough tickets were sold, the wedding party would freak out, spamming everyone's facebook wall saying "you HAVE to buy a ticket - 'so' and 'so' are counting on it!" Really? Well I'm sorry, but then maybe you should cut back your budget.
To be fair, some people that I know who have gotten married had absolutely zero family support and needed help to pay for the basics - the ring, paying the officiant, getting their marriage license. This rant isn't directed at them.
My other issue with Stag and Doe's is that the main source of revenue is selling alcohol. I don't know about you, but something about others getting drunk so that I can pay for my wedding just doesn't sit right with me. Call me old-fashioned.
What are your thoughts?