Tuesday, October 07, 2008

no more smiles?

I don't know but it would seem that I need to stop smiling. It gets me in trouble. It makes me more approachable for those asking for favours (meh), but worse, it makes me more approachable to guys, or so it would seem.

In recent history there was Ted from the bus and Alex, although he's never seen my smile, apparently he's heard it my voice because he's told me many times (in his thick European accent) that he "reeeelly like my voice".

My bus driver for the last little while always seems to be a little more cheerful when he sees me get on the bus (judged by his non-smile as I watch others get on and his face getting much cheerier? when I get on). Anyways so today we were chatting about moving, we both moved homes over the last week, and I said something about how he should get some rest after work instead of tackling his daunting list of house repairs to which he said "I have no problem doing whatever a pretty lady asks of me" ... oh gosh.

AND ... today at work a guy from one of the architect's offices came in and we chatted a bit when he made the connection that we knew some of the same people (in particular my friend who also applied for my job). He got back to the office and e-mailed me about how it was nice to finally put a (pretty) face to the voice he hears on the phone and something cheesy about how unfortunate it was that he's switching companies from downtown Hamilton to Toronto and he should maybe rethink it? ... oh gosh. I got another e-mail from him (I replied to the first one*) and him, our mutual friend and I might be going out ... oh gosh. 

*maybe I shouldn't have replied? But that just seems to snobbish for my liking, and heck I like new friends ... most of the time.

All I can attribute it to is the fact that I'm a smile-y person. Obviously a smile will not have the same effect on women as it does on men, because there sure isn't (to my knowledge) anything I do differently in terms of treating men or women. I try to be pretty equal in my goofy nature to both genders.

Seriously. People of blogging land, do you think smiles change the way people view you, to the point of thinking you're flirting? I just think it might.


  1. Even if it does seem like flirting, what's the harm in that? It's not like you're doing anything sexual or innappropriate. Innocent flirting is just another form of human interaction. It doesn't mean you're promising them anything and you're not obligated to do anything you don't want to. Relax and have fun with it. Someday you'll be sad when you get old nice men stop flirting with you a little :)

  2. a. you should never ever let someone make you think you should not smile.
    b. you just direct those boys/men to me, phliki and i will make sure they take a long trip off a short cliff.
    ok not literally.

  3. i'd say take it as a compliment. People think you have a pretty smile - that's good. Sometimes guys can be a bit too...hopeful.
    But the other commenters (commentors?) are right - don't let it stop you from smiling. Most people anymore aren't willing to talk to strangers, let alone smile at them or be friendly. It is entirely possible that yours is the only smile some people see in a day. That is an amazing thing that you should be proud of. And if people take it the wrong way, that is not really your fault. Don't feel obligated to spend time with every guy who compliments you or contacts you out of the blue, no matter how cool their foreign accent seems.
    And besides, it could be worse...I think women find me creepy sometimes when I'm just being silly, so you're a step ahead of that. (Actually, I don't really think they do, but sometimes I wonder...)

  4. Flirting is a dangerous thing, don't ever for a moment think otherwise.
    There is a WORLD of difference between flirting and an honest, sincere compliment. Flirting has more behind it than a compliment does. A compliment is designed to help lift a person's mood and elevate their countenance, while flirting is give&take and the most common form of innuendo available that's socially acceptable in all settings. If one was to take extremes on this issue, flirting is the first step to cheating on your wife or husband. But that's taking extremes.

    And given that most people are miserable cusses, smiling makes you more attractive and as you've admitted, approachable.

    Or maybe you're just noticing all this because your boyfriend/husband/toy/whatever isn't paying you enough attention, and you want that attention..

    As for replying back to the work contact.. if it's on work time.. then you've violated office protocols in replying to personal email (unless you were on a break or lunch, and even then, the `rules` can get blurry) Something about dipping pens in company inkwells comes to mind.

    But then, you appear to be a cheerful, happy-go-lucky kind of girl who'd probably be some kind of horror story on the 6 o'clock news if not for some kind of miracle.

    Keep smiling, but be careful who you flash them pearly-whites at.. there's more sharks than fish in the sea.

  5. Wow, WHO wrote that last one? I didn't quite get the 'horror story on the...' ??
    Well, I quit being my bubbly friendly self, when I wanted to keep people at arms length, at work and on the bus. I was getting hit on too much; and not usually by any Prince Charmings, either.
    But I miss that old me. Stay friendly and genuine, just be sure you never lead anyone on.
    Although I found, even mentioning husband and church, didn't deter some guys. But then that's their problem.
    If someone gives you a compliment, accept it with a thank you, everyone loves a compliment.
    Yesterday I smiled at people and was happy, it also made their day. ( they were all ladies :P )

  6. Also, Darrel has a good point, some guys are too hopeful. You can be your usual self and they'll think your interested in them.
    I always told you that you have a beautiful smile. It lights up your whole face. XO

  7. Oy Girly,

    wow.. can't say I agree with or disagree with anyone here..nutjobs and all.

    Flirting ain't good, but that's my opinion. Seen the consequences, never pretty ..always dramatic in the end. Someone get me a camera!

    Keep smilin kiddo... most people got vinegar-smiles at best.. not enough have real smiles.. and you got them in spades.

  8. Ehhhh, nothin' wrong with a little flirting!!! ;)

  9. Is 'the man' calling your mother a nut job?
    But he's right, you've got a genuine smile. That's because you are genuine and not flirting, you're just being your bubbly, friendly self.

  10. Is this what the "date" thing on your Google calendar for next week Saturday is all about?

    And I definitely think that smiling at people changes how they view you.
    Take, for example, my Gas Station Man.
    I started off being friendly and chatty like I am with flipping EVERY customer service person I deal with, and it made him think I was into him. The one day that I came in and purposely acted like I was in a bad mood and didn't have time for him (I still felt bad for doing that, even though I had to in order to throw him off) he took the hint and doesn't talk to me more than necessary when I go in.

    Smiles make all the difference.

  11. Maybe we naturally friendly types need little 'social' cards to hand out. They could say something like, "I'm naturally friendly, please do not mistake this as romantic interest." :)
    It's a shame to stop smiling at people just so we don't give the wrong impression! A friendly smile can be the one positive thing in someone's life. So many people are longing for a friendly word, a helpful gesture, a nicer world.
    If it gets to the point, where someone gets interested in you, when you're not, simply clarify the matter.

  12. Oy Nightwatch... not calling you a nutter.

    Good idea with them lil placards.. `Hi, I'm just naturally smiley-go-lucky. Have a nice day.`
    Market it.. make a small mint.

    While I disagree that flirting is the beginning of cheating on your spouse (and I would understand if spouse is upset when it happens)..I do agree that flirting is bad - period.
    There's always 2 ways to fill a void... the human way, or the holy way.
    Man seeks happiness, God gives joy.
    Joyful folks stand out in a crowd.

  13. I agree, flirting can get you in trouble. Just kidding about you calling me a nut ;) and you can ask my daughter, my curiosity has been peaked; WHO is 'the man'? :)

  14. Oy! Veh!! Sheesh, lighten up people!!! Nicole, keep smiling at everyone you meet - most people react well to 'smiley' people... and then there are those that don't... no biggy - keep smiling, don't flirt, stay home after 5pm, don't leave the house before 8am, wear big bulky clothing and take a taxi everywhere you go... you'll do all right!
    Yer faddah.